Love Life Live Lent Wednesday of Week Four: say hello to your neighbours!

I was told once that as a vicar, if I didn’t have small children, I should get a dog, as I would need an excuse to be walking in the village without looking like I was just wandering around.  Probably good advice, though I’m not sure that I’ll want to replace the children with a dog when they get too old to be useful in casual pastoral ministry…

One of the joys of being a vicar is that I can smile and say hello to people I don’t know without them thinking I’m a nutter – or at least, if they do think I’m a nutter, it’s not because I smiled at them. This even sort of works in London (not that I go there very often, but I have tried it – smiling at people on the tube – and sometimes people even smile back).

One of the challenges of being a vicar is that when I do smile and say hello to people they often want to stop and talk, which is lovely, unless I’m in a hurry to get somewhere – so one allows time for these encounters.

And I suppose that’s the point, isn’t it?  Allowing time for your hello to become more than a hello is part of what makes the hello worth saying in the first place. It makes a walk down the street less predictable, getting anywhere takes longer and we may be drawn into conversations that are difficult or that demand more of us than we expected to give.  But on the other hand, we may make mew friends. make a difference (in a good way!) to someone’s day…

Saying hello may well be only step one but it could well be step one of a much longer, richer and more interesting journey.

Hymns for Mothering Sunday

I wrote these a while back, but I thought I’d post them again since it’s Mothering Sunday this week – they’re free to use if you’d find them helpful. 

All our blessings
Tune: All things bright and beautiful

All our blessings, all our joys
With thankful hearts we sing,
True, compassionate, loving God
Accept the praise we bring.

For parents and for children,
For husbands, wives, and friends,
For those whose care enfolds us
With love that never ends.

For fellowship and friendship
We both receive and give,
For those who’ve shared our journey
And taught us how to live.

For all who’ve shared our sorrow,
Walked with us in our pain,
Who’ve held our hand through darkness
And showed us light again.

In sacrifice and service
Your love is clearly shown,
Your outstretched arms embrace us
to bring us safely home.

For those who give us life and breath
Tune: O Waly Waly

For those who gave us life and breath,
For love that’s stronger far than death,
Today we bring our thankful hearts,
For all a mothering love imparts.

For kindness, patience, warmth and care,
For each embrace, each smile, each tear,
Each word of peace, each healing touch,
These simple gifts which mean so much.

We look to you, our mothering Lord,
Who shows love’s cost, and love’s reward,
Your passion fiercer than the grave,
Nailed to the world you came to save.

So teach your people how to live,
How to endure, how to forgive,
Teach us to trust, to sacrifice,
To share the love that has no price.

Love life live Lent Monday of week 4: tidy up and find lost things!

I could quite usefully do this action every day – and I suspect I’d still never run out of mess to sort out.  Tidying up in our house is like painting the Forth Bridge: a never-ending task.

One of the reasons why my study in particular is always a messy place is that I never seem to get my act together to put things away when I’ve used them – I love creating interesting visual and tactile aids to preaching and prayer, but at the end of a long Sunday, everything is in bags and boxes on the floor and I simply don’t have the energy to do anything with them. I am pretty sure that there have been times that I’ve re-done whole resources simply because I can’t find what I already had made – and it was probably somewhere in the pile of stuff.

And then there is the problem that some things simply don’t have a place to go. Take the giant crib set that one of my churches was given just before Christmas.  It doesn’t belong anywhere so it’s spent over two months sitting in a huge cardboard box in the middle of my floor. I’ve stubbed my toe on it, I’ve tripped over it… but I haven’t found anywhere permanent for it to live!

But more crucially, in a job like mine there are many, many small bits and pieces of paperwork, messages, notes, and more, that aren’t just bits of paper.  They are   people who are sick and need prayer, they are wedding couples wanting a call back about their big day, they are funeral families who are struggling.  Losing one small piece of paper in a whole pile of paperwork can make a huge difference to the person whose name and situation was scribbled on it as I rushed in from one thing and out to the next.

I, along with most vicars, I suspect, live in fear of losing people.  We can’t trust our memories, not completely, and not infallibly. And we don’t get the administration right all the time either. I read the ‘lost’ parables in Luke 15 and they remind me of the need to keep my eye on the ball, to count my coins and my sheep, and to invest the time in caring for them and looking for them.

But I also remember those wonderful words of Jesus in John’s gospel, about how God the Father has entrusted us into his hands, and ‘not one of them shall be lost’.  That is my prayer. That what slips through my fingers will be caught by the  much bigger hands of God, and that the sheep I lose will be found by the Good Shepherd.

And in the mean time I’ve typed all the information on forthcoming weddings into a spreadsheet instead of leaving it on paper sheets, because although I know God has it all in hand, I need to have it in hand too…  Not that I’m confessing to have ever lost any wedding booking forms.  I’d never do that. Really…..

Sermon for Lent 3: 1 Cor 10.1-13 & Luke 13.1-9

I was told the other day that I should make my sermons more challenging and less comforting.  Happily, today’s readings make it really easy to avoid being overly comforting. But then, it is Lent, and perhaps we should expect the lectionary to dwell upon the difficult stuff, just for a while? 

First, we have St Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth.  Today’s passage is only three short chapters before the wonderful poem to love that is so often read at weddings.  And it’s only two chapters before the famous image of the church as the body of Christ, each member playing their own part in harmony. But chapter 10, today’s reading, on the face of it could not be more different from these two much more famous and inspiring passages.  It’s a little history lesson, dwelling on the less triumphant episodes in the history of God’s people – those moments during their forty years in the wilderness when they turned to idols because they’d lost their trust in God. What’s hard about this is that Paul uses their time of challenge and failure as an example – “don’t be like them,” he says, “but do learn from them – don’t make the same mistakes.”

George Santanaya said, “Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.”  Our memories (whether collective or individual) really do shape who we are, and all individuals, communities and nations tell stories about themselves, to try and make sense of who they are and how they came to be where and how they are. The ancient Israelites were no different.  They constantly told and retold the story of their own salvation, and it was a story of their own failings, as well as of God’s mercy and patience. The way that they told that story, particularly the way they told the period from the exodus from slavery in Egypt to the conquest of the Promised Land formed their identity as a people and nation – later, their experience of Exile in Babylon would be added to that story, becoming almost as central to their identity as the Exodus.

I wonder how many of us have a particular overarching story that we tell about ourselves – not an individual anecdote, but some sort of summary of our lives.  We, too, have a need to explain ourselves (to ourselves as well as to others!) – to provide some kind of narrative that makes sense of who we are and how we came to be the people we have become. Some people’s stories talk themselves up: the stories of the self-made men who overcame childhood poverty or disadvantage and made good, achieving success and fulfilment beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, and often proving their detractors wrong.  Others talk themselves down: things that were done, or that were not done become the explanation for continuing failure.  Most of us have a story that they tell about our life which seeks to find patterns, to make connections, to work out why we are shaped the way that we are. Understanding our past is undoubtedly crucial to understanding our present. But there can be times when we need to turn a page in that story, to stop repeating the patterns that have governed our life thus far and dare to make the next chapter different.

In this passage from 1 Corinthians, Paul, a devout and highly knowledgeable Pharisee, draws on the story of his people, and makes explicit the need to go beyond merely repeating it, saying instead that the new Christians in Corinth must learn from it and undertake to write the next chapter differently.

He particularly wants them to be able to do this because they are in the midst of a time of huge challenge.  They are persecuted from outside the faith and face huge divisions and arguments within it. They have been through the mill and need some serious spiritual direction about how to redefine themselves.  This chapter invites them to take a look at where they’ve come from, while chapters 12 and 13 will go on to show them what Paul calls ‘A more excellent way’ for their future.

There are times for us, too, when we need to take one last look back at where we have been, and then consciously decide how far we are going to be defined by that story, and how else we might start to define ourselves.  What will be the values by which we live from now on?  Who are we, as individuals and as a community of faith, if we’re not any longer the people we’ve always been?

As I’ve said, Paul gives his own answers to some of those questions later in his letter. But we also see a hint of an answer in today’s gospel reading, particularly in the parable of the fig tree.

The image of the vine had long been used by God’s people about themselves, so Jesus’ first hearers would have immediately realised that the fig tree could well stand for them.  This is also not the first time that the vine, or the fig tree, has failed to do what it’s supposed to do; Isaiah 5 is the most famous ‘failed vine’ passage in the Old Testament.  In this parable, Jesus shows us a fig tree that’s been there, growing in the middle of the vineyard for years, and never really done much. The landowner thinks it’s had every chance, but the gardener wants to try one last time to see if he can coax it back into being fruitful.

For me, what’s really significant about this parable and what links it with what I’ve been saying about the other reading today, is that the gardener knows there are certain conditions which are necessary, or at least helpful, for the fig tree if it’s going to get its act together. It needs decent soil, that’s been dug through to let the moisture drain to the roots. It needs rain and sunshine, it needs care and attention, and pruning.  He’s convinced that if it gets everything it needs, it will yield a rich harvest of figs.

Here’s the thing.  We may or may now know what the ideal soil conditions are for growing fig trees.  I certainly don’t.  But do we know what the ideal conditions are for our own fruitfulness?  If we’re bearing rich fruit already, there’s a good chance that we have the right environmental conditions for our thriving.  But if we’re not, what would that manure, or sunlight, or rain, look like in real life?  And what would need to change in order for us to get what it is we need, so that we can then also bring forth what we’re being called to bring forth?

The figs grow out of the years of growing that the fig tree has done, and the sunshine and rain of past years, together with the relative attention or neglect of the gardener over those years do make a difference to what it can do.  But the main factor is what happens this year, this season.  If it’s never borne fruit before, why would the gardener keep on doing the same things?  But if he does something different?  If the fig tree gets some different attention, some different nourishment?  That’s a new chapter, or at least a new page in its story, and this is the year when the gardener does it.  It’s not sometime, it’s now.

So what does that look like in real life?  The answer will be different for each of us, I suspect, but if I can be very didactic for a moment I’d suggest that that combination of soil, weather and attention might well include prayer, scripture and fellowship with one another.  And if the way you’ve been doing those things has stopped feeling fruitful, it could be time to do it differently, or at least try it differently.

In January the open ministry and mission meeting ended up talking a lot about how this church works – how we create (or sometimes fail to create) an environment that enables people to grow in faith and in love for one another and for God. We talked particularly about the value of the small groups that exist within church: the Ground Floor Group, the Bible Study Group, the Sunday Lunch Group, and more.  These groups create safe environments in which we can discover who we really are, in which we can tell the stories that have formed us, and yet also move beyond them, growing and changing and developing, and in the process becoming more fruitful.

For this growth to happen there has to be a certain amount of input: honesty, trust, good humour, much drinking of tea and eating of cake usually, courage, emotional investment, and more.  These are the things that create an environment where people can grow – grow into their identity and grow beyond the historic identities that risk keeping us stuck in a fruitless cycle of doing what we’ve always done and always getting the same results.

This is never about change for change’s sake; it’s about being honest about the parts of ourselves individually and the parts of this community that are not being all they could be. The parts that are stuck retelling the same story all the time, never able to move beyond it. The parts that are simply not bearing fruit. And it’s about asking ourselves serious questions about what might make our next chapter better, more alive.  As a church, we need to ask that question together.  And hopefully what we do together will create some of that safe space for us to ask the question of ourselves, too.

Love Life Live Lent Friday of Week Three: do something different

Tomorrow’s action is to do something different by trying to have a screen-free day – which is why I’m writing this now!

Tomorrow is my day off, as it happens. I’m not morally obliged to answer emails, and it should be possible for me genuinely to have a screen-free day – any other day of the week and I’d really really struggle. But from the tweets that have been coming in today in anticipation of this particular challenge, for many people the idea of having a screen free day is something they long to do, but genuinely can’t. If you’re working and your work demands that you spend most of your day looking at a screen, and if most of your human contact comes via electronic means, then this challenge may feel like adding insult to injury.  You’d love to spend a day without being a slave to your laptop or tablet. But you can’t.

But remember, the actual heading for the LLLL action is, ‘Do something different’.  The challenge to do without the computer is an example of what this might mean – and for those of us who don’t absolutely have to engage via technology, but are just a little bit addicted to it, it’s a challenge that is well worth trying, and might well be a hugely life-giving thing to do.

But for those who really are chained to their computer all day, the challenge to do something different remains. What that looks like in real life is worth spending some time thinking about.  Fundamentally, the challenge is to dare to break the habits and patterns that we’ve got stuck in, and that have ended up controlling our lives.  The challenge is to confront those habits and patterns and to ask ourselves whether we have become a slave to them, and if we have, to work out ways of regaining some freedom.

So if you’re stuck with the screen during office hours, what about when you take a break?  Do you have the option to leave your desk and go outside at lunchtime? To go for a walk or take a different route to and from work so you see different people and landscapes?  Eat something different, or wear something colourful that you wouldn’t normally wear, try out a different perfume, or do something different with your hair – anything to stimulate your senses and keep you alive to the world beyond the screen.  So many of us get stuck staring ahead of us at a glowing rectangle, all day, every day, but we are people with bodies, with a sense of taste and touch and smell as well as the sight or hearing we use to engage with people via technological means.  This challenge, to do something different, could be a way of noticing all over again who you are and what matters to you.

And if slavery to the screen isn’t your particular form of slavery, this challenge is still a chance to work out what is.  What habits and ways of being are keeping you captive? And if you forgo them for a day, what new joys and discoveries will rise up to fill the gap?

So many of us get stuck in routines and don’t dare to think about what could be different.  Yes, it’s a risk. If we’ve always done something one way, what happens when we don’t?  Yet it’s essential to being a living being that we change and grow and respond to our environment, learning new things about ourselves and about the world around us all the time. Accept the challenge to do something different and this could just be the first day of the rest of your life.